White House Intruder Was Just Looking For A Bathroom

Had just made a run to the border
By Dookie Jones | 2014.10.02

A White House intruder made headlines two weeks ago when he breached security and made his way into the Presidential residence. After an intense interrogation and a thorough investigation, the Secret Service has released the intruder. An official statement released by the White House indicated that the man was just looking for a bathroom because of a bowel movement emergency.

Additional details were sparse, but one thing that was confirmed was that the intruder had recently eaten at Taco Bell. Officials believe that may have aggravated his Irritable Bowel Syndrome and contributed to the frantic search for a bathroom. Charges may still be filed, but it is unlikely that any serious penalty will come of the incident.

As a result of the incident, Congress is moving to ban all Taco Bell establishments within 5 miles of the White House. They believe this will cut down on the likelihood of a similar event occurring in the future. The bill is expected to have bi-partisan support.