NYC Mayor Warns That Tauntauns Will Freeze Before They Reach The First Marker

You thought NYC smelled bad on the outside
By Hans Yolo | 2015.01.26

Blizzard preparation kicked into high gear Tuesday, with NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio giving a grim warning to city residents. According to the calculations of his respected staffers, tauntauns are expected to freeze before they reach the first marker. As if this information was not scary enough, they also put the chances of survival for anyone caught outside in the storm to be 725 to 1.

Search parties are planned for anyone that may be stuck outside in the storm, however, police cruisers have not yet been modified to adapt to the cold. This story is still developing, so stay tuned for more blizzard information.