Federal Classroom Technology Grant Guarantees E-Cigs For All Inner City Students
Some of the lowest performing schools in the country received a pleasant surprise this week when word of a new Federal technology grant was announced to the public. Much like the suburban programs that provide iPads to students, this program will finally put electronic cigarettes in the hands of trouble youths that are desperate for technology in the classroom. It is expected that the move will a game-changer in evening the playing field between suburban and urban schools.
Emma Harris, a principal in one of Detroit's worst school districts applauded the move. "We've been fighting for years to get more advanced technology available to the kids. I never thought I would see the day when I could bring in the teachers for a meeting and tell them that we finally accomplished what we set out to do. We all just cried tears of joy."
Parents weighed in on the news as well. "It's about time our kids got something," said Angela Hernandez, a mother of two living in Chicago. "I can't afford to give my kids the same things as other parents. Have you seen how much it costs for a pack of cigarettes? But now, I know my children are going to have the same advantages in school as all the other kids in this country."
In addition to providing the funding for the electronic cigarette devices themselves, the grant also includes instructional seminars on how to use the devices, how to refill them, and how to look damn cool while using them. In total, the program is expected to cost over $100 million in taxpayer dollars. Despite the high price tag, the grant received rare bipartisan support.