Sony Sends Terminator Back In Time To Stop Production Of The Interview

Will likely create alternate reality
By Connor Johns | 2014.12.20

In the latest bizarre twist in the Sony Pictures hacking scandal, company executives announced that they will be sending a T-800 series terminator back in time to stop production of the movie "The Interview." In a press release distributed today, the company indicated that the move was intended to help prevent the personal data of its employees from ever getting stolen. However, critics of the move have accused Sony of trying to recoup the marketing dollars spent on the Seth Rogan and James Franco comedy.

Scholars of the Terminator movies have issued warnings about sending a killing machine back in time to alter past events. They are concerned that the Sony hackers may also send one of their own back in time as well to help protect Rogan and Franco. As a result, they would likely end up impregnating the two and creating an endless string of sequels. Sony has downplayed that possibility.

Regardless of the potential sequels, sending a T-800 back in time will likely have unintentional consequences that most people have not yet even thought about. Franco hosted Saturday Night Live on December 7th to help promote The Interview, so in an alternate timeline, who would end up hosting SNL? Advertisers are concerned that in the alternate reality, they might get stuck with a low ratings draw.

Whatever the outcome of the terminator's primary mission, maybe we can have it make some "wise investments" for us while it's back there.